


Hard Left Turn: Thane

by Flyingicecreamtruck



Series: Hard Left Turn [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Thane Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 06:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12501304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flyingicecreamtruck/pseuds/Flyingicecreamtruck
Summary: They hit Earth first. The Reapers came for Shepard.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Thane Lives AU! Several lines of dialog and the contents of letters from the game are used verbatim. I'm also fudging the time line of the game slightly.
> 
> Disclaimer: Mass Effect and its characters are not mine.
> 
> Slight edits made from the original post on tumblr.

_Siha,_

_As always I write this letter knowing that it will not reach you. All lines of communication that I have tried remain closed: official diplomatic inquiries, the Shadow Broker; I have even tried a false identity to get a message through, yet none have yielded any results. What little information I have of you comes from the news reports from Earth: you have been stripped of your rank and are under house arrest, awaiting trial for the events at Aratoht._

_While I do not wish to rehash an old argument I find it abhorrent that the Alliance would hold you responsible for the deaths of 300,000 Batarians. If you had not destroyed that relay the galaxy would have fallen to the Reapers before we are fully prepared. I hope the Alliance will listen to your warnings. I pray that they are treating you well._

_I miss you. More and more I find myself lost in memories. I cannot forget you. That is what humans say. With us it is a state called tu-fira: lost in another. I told you once that when a memory feels as real as life, it is as valid as life. But the memories of you will never be enough._

_Forgive me, I do not want you to think I am wasting the “new lease on life” I have been given. I know how angry it would make you. The doctors at Huerta Memorial are impressed with my progress and have have recently cleared me to return to my normal level of activity. In thanks for all they have done I have begun to volunteer my time at the hospital. It is good to give back._

_Though I have lost contact with the rest of the crew, Dr. Chakwas has remained on the Citadel. We meet once a week for dinner. She tells me of your adventures on the SR-1. I would not believe half of what she tells me if I had not seen your methods with my own eyes. Sometimes we are joined by Commander Bailey. Other times the Commander and I will retire to his office to speak of our families and our failures as fathers and husbands. He has not seen his own family in many years. Perhaps this why he has taken such an interest in Kolyat. I will forever be grateful to the Commander for the part he has played in helping my son._

_I am so proud of him, Siha. Kolyat has changed so much from the sullen, moody boy you rescued a year ago. His work in C-Sec has given him purpose, allowed him channel his energies in to making a difference in the galaxy. Every day I see more of Irikah emerge in him._

“Father!” Thane glances up from his data pad to see Kolyat hurrying towards him still dressed in his C-Sec uniform. He smiles. Yes, he is very proud of his son. Thane stands and tucks the pad away. “I apologize for being late. A situation came up and I wanted to stay until it was resolved.”

“It is no trouble. I trust it was nothing serious?”

Kolyat shakes his head as they climb the stairs from the Presidium courtyard to Apollo's Cafe. At early afternoon the restaurant is nearly deserted and they quickly find a table. A waiter hurries over to take their order. “While I was out on patrol I came across a young Asari girl that had been separated from her mother. I wanted to wait with her until she was found. I know it is a small thing Father but I'm glad I was able to help her.”

“It is no small thing to the girl or her mother. They will always remember the drell who reunited their family and be grateful. I'm very proud of the work you are doing.”

Kolyat straightens under the praise. “Thank you Father.”

The waiter returns with their food and a comfortable silence falls between them as they eat. It is a far cry from their first few stilted dinners after his release from the hospital. Though his separation from Shepard chaffes at him, Thane can never bring himself to regret his time on the Citadel. He and Kolyat grow closer every day.

During the months Thane had been confined to the hospital, recovering from his lung transplant, he and Kolyat had spoken often of Irikah's death and his abandonment at Thane's hands. Though it would never make up for those lost years, it seemed that Kolyat at least understood why Thane had disappeared from his life. Now he could begin to heal. In time Thane hopes for his son's forgiveness.

“How have your studies been going?” It seemed that the first step towards forgiveness for Kolyat was to begin to study with the small contingent of Drell priests on the Citadel.

“It is going well. The Brothers have-”

A horrified cry cut Kolyat off. It sounded human. Thane's head snaps up, searching for a disturbance, yet no one is moving. The entire presidium seems frozen in place. Other voices join the first; orange flickered rapidly in his vision as dozens of Omni-tools flare to life around the Presidium.

“Father, what is happening?”

Kolyat starts to stand. Thane grabs his arm to keep him still. People were beginning to move, several fled the Presidium. He can hear crying. Dread settles in his chest, squeezing his lungs. _Something catastrophic has happened_.

Thane glances up as a group of humans moved past him towards the front of the cafe. They stop in front of the large vid screen next to the counter. Something cold slithers through Thane's chest. _No_ , he thinks, _no_. Unable to stop himself he moves to join them, Kolyat a step behind him. A split second before he sees the screen, Thane knows what he would see. It in no way prepares him for the reality.

EARTH FALLS TO INVADING FORCE the scroll read. Though the footage was grainy and slightly out of focus, Thane can see the outline of a burning city. Amid the ruins, and in the air, are the unmistakable shapes of dozens of Reaper ships.

For the second time in his life, Thane's mind goes utterly blank. No training, no memories, just an swirling, black void of rage and grief. A low hissing sound intrudes. It is the sound of a drell in distress. Kolyat? No, that is him-

 _-Irikah's body, broken and bloody on the floor of their home, the hanar officer flashing a deep, mournful gray_ -

“-breath!” Fingers dig sharply into his arm. The pain brings the world back into focus. Thane sucks air into screaming lungs as he is pushed down into the nearest chair. His scales twitch in disgust at the feel of Kolyat's hand on his bare arm. It takes every ounce of control he has not to shove his son away.

 _They hit Earth first. The Reapers came for Shepard. Oh Siha_...Had she survived the initial attack? Was she already dead? No one had listened to her warnings. Thane can feel his pulse pounding in his temples. Why had he not done more to help her? He should have-

Thane hissed again as pain lances through his chest, so sharp and hot that his vision dims around the edges. He presses a hand to his chest. It feels as if his entire body is throbbing in time to his pulse. He can vaguely hear Kolyat shouting. Thane glances up into his son's face. The scales around his eyes have gone white and his second eyelids are visible. He is terrified.

Shame washes through him. With a deep breath Thane reaches inside himself for the training that has guided him for most of his life. He presses down the rage and grief and fear. They are useless right now. He needs to keep a clear head. Thane can not think of Commander Shepard now, not when Kolyat is standing in front of him. _I will not fail our son again Irikah_ , he vows.

Thane forces himself to stand. “I am all right Kolyat.”

The look his son gives him clearly said how ridiculous that statement is. “I'm taking you to the hospital Father. Dr. Tozon is waiting for us.” He opens his mouth to object but Kolyat shakes his head. “You are getting cold. Remember your promise.”

Yes, his promise. He had sworn to Shepard, and later to Kolyat, that he would do all that was required to maintain his health. He had too much to live for. With a nod Thane allows himself to be guided out of the cafe. An oppressive silence has fallen over the entire Presidium. He can hear every step they take. The elevator door is so loud that Thane flinches.

Kolyat follows him inside, slamming the button for Huerta Memorial. “Those were Reaper ships. This is what Commander Shepard tried to warn everyone about.” Thane nods, chest aching. Kolyat let out a sob. “Father, what do we do?”

With a conviction he does not feel Thane takes his son's face in his hands, brushing away his tears. “We live. That is all we can do. We live and we help where we can. When the Reapers come, we will fight. And when it is time we will all be reunited across the sea.” Was Shepard already waiting for him? He had never considered the possibility of her death.

That seems to ease some of the tension in his son's shoulders. Kolyat takes a deep breath and nods, pulling away as the door opens to admit them to Huerta.

Word has reached the hospital. The patient lounge is full of crying, frightened people, most of whom are grouped around the reception desk, shouting at the harried-looking asari behind the desk. Thane recognizes her; Vessna, another volunteer. They have often taken their breaks together. She catches his eye, jerking her head towards the door to the in patient area. Thane nods his thanks and follows Kolyat.

Dr. Tozon is waiting for them on the other side. The salarian takes one look at him and quickly ushers him into an exam room. He frowns down at his omi-tool, clearly not liking the readings he sees. “Mild shock. Body temperature is too low. Respiration is too rapid.” Dr. Tozon inputs something into his omni-tool. “Please complete an entire cycle of breathing exercises. I will be back in a few minutes with a UV lamp.”

The first breath Thane takes made his lungs hitch. He doubles over in a coughing fit, trying to get enough air to try again. Hands gently catch him, pressing between his shoulder blades to force him to sit straight.

“Like the therapist showed you, Father. Back straight. Deep breath and hold for 5 seconds.”

Thane takes another breath. It makes his chest ache but he feels his lungs expand. He holds it for a count of five and exhales. Kolyat drops his hands as he finds his rhythm. Slowly Thane feels his pulse return to normal. He lets out a long breath before looking over at his son. “I am sorry for my outburst. I know I frightened you.”

Kolyat's fists clench at his side. After a moment he relaxes. “You did but I understand. I'm sorry about...do you think Commander Shepard-”

Thane is saved from answering by the beeping of Kolyat's omni-tool. He glances down with a frown. “It's Commander Bailey. Everyone is being recalled.” Kolyat dropped his arm with a groan. “The Council is issuing a lock down for evening hours.”

Thane winced. A lock down was a logistical nightmare. All non-essential personnel had to be off the streets in a matter of hours. C-Sec was in for a long day. “Go. I will return home immediately once Dr. Tozon releases me.” His son hesitates for a moment and then nods. Thane stands and touches his shoulder. “Stay safe. I love you.”

“I will. I love you too, Father.” With head held high Kolyat leaves the exam room, dodging Dr. Tozon.

Thane strips down to his under clothes as the doctor sets up the UV lamp. As he stretches out on the bed, Dr. Tozon takes another scan. “Better. Please remain under the lamp for one hour. I will be back to check on you. If everything looks fine, I will let you return home.”

“Thank you Doctor.”

As soon as he is alone, Thane's defenses fall. He presses his fists to his eyes, forcing back the tears that threaten. Had it all been for nothing? The lung transplant, the separation and silence? He had been so sure that he would fight this war at his siha's side. Why else had he lived through the Omega 4 relay? What else had it been but Kalahira's favor, a sign that he had been forgiven, when Miranda had handed him the data pad with a medical plan to save his life? Had he assumed too much?

 _Kalahira, Mistress of Inscrutable Depths, I beg your forgiveness. Please, show me my path that I might serve you faithfully._ An aching silence is his only answer. _Oh Siha, I am so sorry._ Memories threaten to overtake him. Thane pushes them aside, ignoring the throbbing in his head, and stares blankly up at the ceiling until Dr. Tozon returns and releases him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life continues on the Citadel because it has to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Thane Lives AU! Several lines of dialog and the contents of letters from the game are used verbatim. I'm also fudging the time line of the game slightly.
> 
> Disclaimer: Mass Effect and its characters are not mine.

Life continues on the Citadel because it has to.

The lockdown ends and the population emerges, cautious but eager to return to whatever time is left to them, though the news grows dire with each passing hour. Several Turian colonies fall, followed by Palaven; though not without a fight. Thane cannot help but smile grimly at the tactics that allow for the destruction of several Reaper capital ships over the planet. Only the Turians could have pulled off such a risky maneuver. Thane spares a though for Garrus. He wonders if his friend had a hand in that victory.

Refugees begin flooding into Citadel space seeking sanctuary. Human and Batarian, they spread word of galaxy wide annihilation. The Reapers show no mercy, harvesting entire planets or simply destroying them out right. Kar'shan has fallen. Arcturus Station is destroyed, taking with it the entirety of the human government.

The entire Sol system goes dark. Thane sets his omni-tool to scan every frequency he knows, hoping for some word of a human resistance. If Shepard is alive she will be in the thick of it. But there is nothing and his hope diminishes with each passing day.

Battle sleep haunts his waking hours, threatening to overwhelm him. The only thing that keeps him from sinking into that void is Kolyat. His son has taken his words to heart; if not on duty he can be found down in the docking bays helping the Priesthood administer to the ever growing number of refugees. They hand out food, clothing, and other necessities, and help arrange for medical care.

It bolsters him to see Kolyat flourishing, even as the galaxy descends into chaos. For his son's sake, Thane forces himself to eat and sleep and continue his volunteer work.

One afternoon Thane joins Kolyat and the Brothers. He is in the middle of helping a human woman set up bedding for her two small children when his omni-tools beeps. It is an e-mail from Commander Bailey.

_Please come see me when you get a chance._

Thane finishes his task and excuses himself. He finds Kolyat sorting through crates of food. “Commander Bailey has asked to see me. I will return once I have spoken with him.”

His son nods absently, not looking up from his task.

As he leaves the docking bay, Thane's eye is caught by the memorial wall that has sprung up. Each day it grows larger as more and more refugees arrive. He thinks of the pictures he has saved on his omni-tool; the ones of the two days he and Shepard had allowed themselves before he had gone under Mordin's knife. He has jealously hoarded them, refusing to part with a single one. They may be the only tangible thing he has left of Shepard.

The elevator doors open to the Embassies. As Thane steps out he is stuck by the change in the atmosphere. The lobby is full of people, excited whispers filling the air. Had there been news?

He quickly hurries across the lobby and up the stairs to Bailey's office. Thane can hear raised voices through the door. He quickly enters to see a human woman in front of Bailey's desk, a camera hovering over her shoulder. A reporter. Now Thane knew something had happened.

Commander Bailey glances up as he enters and a look of panic crosses his face. “Ms. Al-Jalani, if you could-”

“And don't you think, Commander, that the people deserve to know that Co-?”

“YES! Yes I do. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with Mr. Nuara. Lieutenant!” Another woman appears from the adjacent office. “Please see Ms. Al-Jalani out.”

The reporter protests loudly as she is led out, camera floating after her. As soon as the door shuts, he turns to Bailey. “Something has happened. Has there been news from Earth?”

Bailey stands. “No, not from Earth.” He picks something up off his desk and holds it out. It is a data disk.

Thane takes it, barely daring to hope. “Shepard?” His voice sounds pained, even to his own ears. Bailey nods. “She is alive? Where?”

“I don't know where she is but, and I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this; the Normandy left about an hour ago. Shepard gave me that right before she headed for the docking bay. She said to give that to you right away and to tell you that she's sorry she missed you.”

Thane gripped the disk so hard the plastic edge bit into his palm. An hour. He had missed her by an hour. But Shepard was alive! He could feel his heart begin to quicken. _Thank you. Thank you_. “How did she seem?”

“As well as can be expected. Can't say the same for the guy she brought in. He was in bad shape.”

No doubt Joker was still in the pilot's seat. Had he been injured? “Do you know who?”

“I heard her call the guy Kaidan.”

The jealousy that twists through him is startling. _A picture frame, face down, the night he had gone to her full of shame_. Kaidan Alenko, the lover she had before him, the one that had turned his back on her. No, that wasn't-

_-fair, Thane.” Her hands twitch in mine, but she does not pull away. “What happened on Horizon was my fault. I didn't even try to explain what was going on. Kaidan had every right to be that angry.” I disagree but do not tell her that. Life support hums around us._

A quiet cough broke Thane out of his memory. “Will he be all right?” He truly did not wish harm on the other man but he cannot forget Shepard's downcast eyes as she had spoken of their meeting on Horizon. Had he been able to visit her on Earth?

“Couldn't say. I'm not even sure Shepard knows. As soon as the orderlies took him to the hospital she went to see the Council. Scuttlebutt says they refused her request for help. Goddamned bureaucrats. Udina looks like he's about to spit nails. I don't know much else.”

Thane looks down at the disk in his hand. Suddenly desperate for answers he thanks Bailey and hurries out into the hallway. Later he will have only dim memories of how he made it back to his apartment. What he will remember is the way his hands shook as he tried to get the disk into his portable terminal. On the third try he is successful. A single video file opens. The camera shifts and he can see a blurry form moving before the camera focuses and Shepard's face appears on the screen.

The rush of emotion is overwhelming. His fist slams on the keyboard, freezing the video. A sob escapes him, harsh in the quiet of his apartment, and Thane is powerless to stop the flood of tears. All his anger and worry and grief come pouring out and it is several minutes before he is able to gain control of himself. With a shuddering breath Thane wipes his eyes and focuses on the screen. He hits play and Shepard smiles at him. She looks exhausted but her smile is genuine. It makes his heart ache.

“Thane, I'm sorry about this crappy video. I wanted to come find you but something came up and it couldn't wait. I'm headed to Palaven to try and drum up support for Earth. If I can get the Turians to commit resources maybe the Asari and Salarians will fall in line. To win this, we're going to need the whole galaxy united. We think we've found something to help fight the Reapers. Liara discovered it in the Prothean Archives on Mars.”

Thane frowns at the mention of Liara. He had sent her several messages over the last 6 months hoping for word of Shepard but they had all gone unanswered. Even if she had been on Mars Liara was the Shadow Broker. She would not have neglected her duties. Curious.

“Whatever this thing is, Cerberus was after it too. Kaidan...he got hurt trying to protect me. I don't even have time to go to the hospital. I don't know if he's going to...” She breaks off with a sob. Thane blinks back a fresh rush of tears.“Shit Thane, everything is such a mess. I feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark. I'd give anything to have you on the Normandy with me. You always know what to say to keep me going. I don't know when I'll be back on the Citadel but I promise I'll make time to see you. Until then, know that I love you and miss you and hope to see you soon.”

The video abruptly ends. Thane hits play a second time, and then a third, just to hear her voice. When he is through he activates his omni-tool, compressing every letter he has written and every video he has recorded into a file and attaches it to a note.

_Siha,_

_Mere words cannot express the joy I feel in knowing that you are alive. When we heard the news from Earth Kolyat and I feared the worst. I should not have. Death did not stop you; I should not have believed the Reapers could either._

_Though circumstances keep us apart know that my love and prayers go with you. By grace given me by the Goddess Arashu, I bid her divine protection to you, my warrior-angel, my Siha, to succeed in your destiny. To light your path through the darkness. To give you hope, when all seems lost._

_No matter what happens in the coming days, I know you will face it bravely. You are good at that. I patiently await your return._

_Thane_

_Post Script: Cerberus may try to finish what they started on Mars. I will look out for Kaidan._

Thane sends off the file with a prayer of thanksgiving and, after several minutes of contemplation, leaves his apartment with renewed purpose. He must first speak with Kolyat. He will need his son's blessing to return to Shepard's side. Then he must speak to Dr. Tozon and have him sign off on a new fitness routine.

He will be ready when his Siha returns.


End file.
